Dakota too young for Cosmpolitan?

DAKOTA DOES COSMOPOLITAN  . . . Oh, boy does she ever! I don’t read Cosmopolitan. Probably my single most salient exposure to the torrid world of Cosmo is from a Seinfeld episode, the one where George’s mother catches him masturbating in the living room with an issue of Cosmopolitan. This magazine seems like a trashier more lurid version of Woman’s Day. Instead of casseroles and how to decorate your home for a Crack’n Kwanzaa Christmas. We are offered up a plethora of non-stop sex. Sex, sex, sex, this month’s issue seems to be no exception.

       Honestly folks, I’m more than a little bit disappointed with Dakota. Do they know the girl is still only 17?  Cosmopolitan seems like such a trashy tacky tatty vehicle to unveil her new found sexuality.  I always thought  she possessed a bit more je ne sais quoi. Personally, I’d be embarrassed  to be associated  with such scandalous salacious tag lines as: “Um, vagina are you okay down there?” and “His best sex ever.” *sigh* It’s with a wink and a nod and no amount of calculated cynicism the editors of Cosmo chose to wait until the strategic month of February before allowing Dakota to  grace their cover.

     Surprise! Dakota turns eighteen on February 23^rd    2012. What an amazing marvelous  wonderful zeitgeist one month makes! Prior to February Dakota was nothing more than jail bait, the mere lust and fantasy of  frustrated ephebophiles everywhere. Apparently eighteen makes all the difference. Open the flood gates! Do I see a Maxim spread anytime in the future? Perhaps a bawdy revival of Oh Calcutta? Daniel Radcliffe certainly couldn’t wait to shed his Harry Potter image and appear naked in Equus.

     I find this whole turning eighteen thing a  highly specious, laughable convenient contrivance.  It isn’t like a girl’s sexuality is a light-switch, off one moment and suddenly on the next. Oh, in case you haven't noticed, Dakota is a beautiful girl; do I dare say she was a beautiful girl in 2001. I knew she was a beautiful girl then and she’s grown up, blossomed to become a beautiful and sexually attractive young woman. Nothing really changes on February 23^rd @ 12:01 except a few disingenuous people out there will suddenly feel a whole lot  less creepy—finally free to express their pent up sexual frustration.